No Limits

Limiting beliefs, we all have them. Somewhere deep inside us there are things we believe about ourselves that are not true yet we have ‘evidence’ to the contrary and our brains believe they are. 

I have 2 main ones that I am aware of (and Im sure several others that I haven’t figured out yet): That I am not loved and that I am not safe (specifically with men). 

The not feeling safe one has some merit, I will give it that. This is the reason I don’t like thunder or wasps- both of them make me feel unsafe (I had a bad experience with a wasp as a child and thunder- I am not sure but I think just the loudness and unpredictability of it represents something not safe for me.) The men aspect again, has merit. I don’t have the best track record of inviting men into my life who make me feel safe. My dad aside (whom I am close to and who does a great job of this), there has been maybe 2 other men who I have felt safe with. The rest, well, turns out that they were only in it for themselves and I was right to not feel safe because really they didn’t have my best interests at heart. 

Yet here I am, on the other side of the world, having travelled solo since I was 18, with no self defence training, able to rock up in countries and situations I have no knowledge about, and I never once feel unsafe in those situations. There is many many times that things should have gone differently on my travels but didn’t, yet I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I have genuinely felt not safe. So what does this tell me? That realistically I am safe, I am guided by the universe and she does absolutely have my back 100%. These moments where I encounter others, especially men, who make me feel unsafe, is not about me, but is about them. I need to learn to protect myself better in these situations. Both energy wise and physically. To not always return to the default setting of ‘ I don’t feel safe around these people until proven otherwise.’ To let go of the past and not let that imprint itself on the present or future.  Because whilst I have evidence to prove that some people are like that, I also have evidence to prove that some are not. And this ties into the not being loved. 

If I don’t feel loved then I cannot BE loved, and if I don’t allow myself to be loved then how am I going to feel safe.  Yet in order for me to feel safe I need to feel loved. And so the cycle continues. 

What I have realised this week is that before I look to anyone else to fill this, I need to look within. To really love myself. To stop harbouring these grudges and baggage from the past, to move on and let it go. I need to effectively treat myself with the same love and safety I am asking someone else to treat me with. I thought I had this down- I really do not. I need to stop being so dam harsh on myself, to stop bringing up the same dam excuses about situations and to just give myself some love. (Honestly if I was dating me and I kept on bringing these things up I would be going nuts by now!)  

I am calling no limits on limiting beliefs. They have limited me for too long. I am on a mission to make myself feel safe and loved.  

Who's with me?