What to do when you feel stuck in life

Do you know the reason why you do what you do?

One simple question that was asked by my business trainer last week, that has been rummaging around my brain ever since.

Simple right?

But when you are feeling stuck in life, this one question can be a lifeline!

When you start a business, you have to know your why.  When you make a life change, you have to know your why. Why? Because this is the thing that will anchor you amongst the changes that will inevitably ensure. Knowing your reasons why you do something, the intent behind it, will keep you on the path long after the initial idea has passed.

Yet I wonder, how many of you actually know why you do what you do?  We, as humans, have a tendency to make decisions, and actions based on the logical part of our brain, without actually feeling into the reasons behind why we do them.

A lot of times when we feel stuck in life, it is because we don't actually know the reasons why we are doing what we are doing. We are just going through the motions.

Take for example the ladies I coach. One of the first questions I ask them, and spend time discussing, is the reason why they want this change. Because in order to reach their desired goal, they have to know why they are chasing it. They have to know why it is important to them. They have to know it is their goal and not someone else's. Without this, it is far more difficult to achieve and is largely based on others ideas and assumptions not their solid vision. There has to be intent.

Until they know why, we go no further.

So do you know your why?

Do you know why you go to your job every day for 8 hours +?  Is it something you genuinely love?  Are you getting great satisfaction from it? Are you helping people? Or is it something that pays the bills?
Do you know why you slave over your computer for hours at a time, working remotely, sometimes not speaking to another person for days?  Is this the dream life you imagined? Are you living your best life? Or have you got sucked into the same system as back at home but in a different place and with slightly more flexible rules?

Finding your reasons why you are doing what you are doing, and determining what your long term why is vs your immediate why is is important. It will help put things into perspective for you, and will help you become clear on just where you spend your energy every day and where it maybe can be better directed. It is the first step in helping you get unstuck in life.

If you are working a job to pay your bills and put food on the table- that is your current why. If you are also working on saving that $ and getting a better paid job, maybe working 2 jobs because you want to travel- that is your long term why.  This is the big one. This is what fuels everything else. Do not loose sight of this in the short term.

Do what you need to do in the short term to keep yourself going, but keep that long term why in your mind, because that is what will fuel you through everything else, and that is what you are striving for. The long term goal doesn't happen overnight but it will happen if you work consistently towards it. And for those of you that worked towards it and thought you had it- check in and re-evaluate. Constantly. Because it is so easy to slip into old habits of working for others dreams vs our own (see my post on this here if you need a reminder of that situation!) and before you know it you are living the same life you were back home, in different surroundings, with different people, but the same feelings. Your reasons why are constantly evolving, make sure you are too.

Dare to Dream! 

For reference my why is 2 fold- I want to help encourage women to explore the world and persue their dreams, all whilst persuing mine.  My dream is to have a life where I can be location independent, I can help people from wherever I choose to be based without the ties to 'the real world.'  I genuinely want women to know that there is more to life than the 9-5, children, marriage and house path.  I want them to know that they can be and do whatever they choose to be/do.  That there may be cultural or societal barriers that have been placed upon them, but that these can be broken through with guidance and that their dreams of travel can be a reality.  This is why I write this blog and want to coach more women.

I also want those women who have already ventured on this journey of travel, to know that they are not alone. That they are not a 'failure' if their reality turns out nothing like the dream they had intended when they set out. I want them to know that as long as they have a dream and can see it in their imagination, then it is possible. They just may have gotten a little sidetracked right now.

Stressed vs blessed 

Yes I currently work in a bar- why- because like I said above, a girl has to eat and pay her bills. However this job is something that works for me right now. It is something I enjoy and fits in with my lifestyle.  It allows me the freedom to build my empire when I am not working, but provides me the stability of a pay check whilst I am still growing my business.

There are plenty of other jobs I could be doing that pay me more $ but they do not fit with me as a person, and that is the big part. I know what I want and why I want it, and also, importantly how I want to feel.  As a result I am able to make decisions far easier and clearer and choose what serves me and what doesn't.  I am ultimately able to decide what brings me closer to my goal and what doesn't and avoid that feeling of being stuck much easier. This is the sweet spot.

So next time you have a bit of down time, take a pen and paper, and sit with this question, and then journal the shit out of it. See what comes up, and let me know.  I would love to know the reasons why you do what you do.

Love and Light
Lucy x